In this episode of The Confident Negotiator Podcast, we sit down with RED BEAR Senior Consultant Deborah Reynolds to discuss the importance of asking better questions in negotiations. With over 30 years of experience in training negotiators, Deborah provides valuable insights into how the right questions can uncover hidden interests, resolve conflicts, and lead to more successful outcomes.
Deborah also highlights the role of Stage Two questions in both professional and personal negotiations, offering practical strategies to help you build rapport, manage tension, and navigate complex scenarios. Drawing from her extensive background in sales and supply chain management, she shares how RED BEAR’s tailored training programs help organizations become more effective negotiators. Whether you’re just starting or looking to refine your skills, this episode is packed with actionable advice you won’t want to miss.
Transcription of the Video:
Rob Cox: Hello, everyone, and welcome to The Confident Negotiator Podcast, the number one podcast about becoming a world-class negotiator. I'm Rob Cox, and with me today is RED BEAR Senior Consultant, Deborah Reynolds. Deborah, thank you so much for joining today.
Deborah Reynolds: Glad to be here, Rob.
Rob Cox: Now, Deborah, you have been training professionals on how to negotiate for over 30 years now. You've trained professionals at RED BEAR for well over a decade. I know everyone is excited to hear from you today, so let's dive on in. Tell us a little bit about your background and how you help RED BEAR customers become world-class negotiators.
Deborah Reynolds: Well, Rob, before coming on and doing this, I actually spent over 18 years in sales and sales management, a couple of years doing supply chain management, and then four years heading up a continuous improvement project for a Global 100 company. And so over all that time, there was tremendous amount of negotiation. So a lot of real-world application that I've had. And how I help the RED BEAR customers actually become better is I've lived it, I've done it. And so using the research-based approach that we have to how to be better at negotiating, I'm able to add my real-world experiences to help them understand how to utilize those concepts.
Rob Cox: Excellent. Thank you for talking a little bit about your background there, Deborah. I know that delivering RED BEAR workshops is one of your passions, but not only do you deliver the RED BEAR workshops, you also help develop the customization and strategic alignment that goes into the training for some of our large Fortune 500 clients. Tell me a little bit about the customization and the strategic alignment process, and how important it is for our clients.
Deborah Reynolds: Rob, it's funny, because I have a hard time trying to decide which I enjoy more: doing the customization for our real-world clients so that we can make sure that the programs are relevant when we're in the classroom, or the actual facilitation, because I love them both. It's interesting when we do the customization, because we do it through a series of a tremendous amount of research and due diligence on gathering information about not only our new client, but the entire industry that they operate in. And then spending time talking with a number of the people to find out what is going on there. What makes it difficult? What are the biggest challenges that they face when it comes to negotiating well, not only externally, but also internally? Since we know some of the toughest negotiations are those internal negotiations. So when they're in the classroom, and they're learning the skills and concepts to come a better negotiator, they're actually able to utilize it in their real world. So they practice not only on metaphorical issues, but also on their real-world examples.
Rob Cox: Excellent. So through your strategic alignment process, through all the research that you do with our clients, you actually do case studies around issues that are specific to not just their industry, but to their actual company, as well, and how they can negotiate those situations better. That's fantastic.
Deborah Reynolds: We love it. And because of that customization and the whole strategic alignment process that we utilize, it makes us a huge differentiator for RED BEAR, and one of the reasons why we actually get an average rating above 4.5 out of 5 stars with them, and keeps those customers coming back so much so, we've actually developed advanced training programs for both sales and for procurement.
Rob Cox: That's right. Course graduates can graduate through all of the different stages of Negotiating With Suppliers and all of the different Situational Negotiation Skills courses as well, so that's fantastic. Thank you for that, Deborah. Let's talk about the content itself. Let's talk about Stage Two Questions. I know you're passionate about Stage Two Questions. You have a lot of experience with Stage Two Questions, both personally and professionally. What are Stage Two Questions, and how do they help people negotiate?
Deborah Reynolds: Stage Two Questions are one of my favorite things. A lot of fun to do, and it takes some skill though to get good at them. Stage Two Questions is an advanced questioning technique that you can use to actually change the way the other person feels about the situation, how they're thinking about what they're currently doing. And these Stage Two Questions take it up a notch. It helps build deeper relationships with the customers, and it also provides you more data and information. In fact, what's really cool about Stage Two Questions is not only is the person asking the questions being educated, but it also helps educate the other person. So they're learning something new about themselves, their company, their needs, what's really important to them.
It's funny, because I not only use Stage Two Questions as you mentioned professionally, but I also use them in my personal life. I acquired three teenage boys when I got married. My husband doesn't like me to talk about my marriage as a merger and acquisition, but it was. So I acquired these boys, and it's interesting, because when I was home, I would pick the boys up from school. Then when I wasn't home, my husband did. And when he would pick up the kids from school, they would get in the car, and my husband would ask great open questions. "How was your day?" Of course, he'd get that one word answer, "Fine," or, "Good." And then he'd go, "What did you do today that was interesting?" And they'd go, "Nothing." And then they would sit in silence for the rest of the drive home.
When I got an opportunity to pick up the kids, I used the Stage Two Questions to try to get them to open up. In fact, I would ask questions instead, like, "Besides recess and lunch, what two things would you hope to do again tomorrow that you did today?" Or, "How do you compare your math quiz today with the one you took three weeks ago?" And because of those type questions, the boys had to think about their answers. And once they had them, they would start talking. And I could ask follow-up questions, and they would talk the entire way home. It was such a huge contrast that after months of doing it, one of my kids came to me and went, "How come we have to talk to you during our drive home, and we don't have to talk to dad?" And so Stage Two Questions really get the other person to start opening up and sharing information that they might not have shared simply by asking the open questions.
Rob Cox: Excellent. I love that example of Stage Two Questions, Deborah. Thank you for that. I wrote some of those down for my own kids, so I appreciate that. Thank you. I'm sure I'm not the only one listening who did the same, so thank you. Now, as an instructor, you have to get workshop attendees out of their comfort zone, right? You got to get people engaged and involved. Which RED BEAR principles are the hardest for attendees to become comfortable with?
Deborah Reynolds: Wow. It's a tough question, Rob. Probably one of the hardest things for them is understanding the concept of tension, being willing to dive into that tension, and let a little tension build up. Not maximizing it, but at least optimizing the tension, because nobody likes tension. And probably another one is asking open questions. Stage Two Questions are great, and they are an advanced questioning skill over open questions, but people struggle with any kind of open question. They have a tendency to revert to closed questions, particularly when there is some tension, because tension elicits close questions. Tension elicits close answers. And probably the third would be positioning advantageously, figuring out how you can express the value that your products and services bring to the table in a way that matters to the other party. So trying to articulate that value. So those would probably be the three hardest.
Rob Cox: So you covered a lot of topics there, Deborah: tension, asking open questions, positioning advantageously. All topics that you cover thoroughly in your workshops, and you get workshop attendees out of their comfort zones and more into negotiating better deals with those concepts. I think that's great, getting people out of their comfort zones. Fantastic. All right. Now, do you have any advice for negotiators for the rest of the year and heading into 2025?
Deborah Reynolds: Wow. Probably the first, like I said, getting comfortable with the tension, being willing to allow that tension to build up. All the research shows is that people don't mind a little tension in the negotiations and those interactions. So get comfortable with that, and start asking a lot of questions. Your top negotiators, your top performers, ask two and a half to three times as many questions as the average person. So get comfortable asking those questions, which keeps you from making assumptions.
So probably that'd be another piece of advice I'd give, is don't make assumptions along the way, and don't believe that just because, for salespeople, that your customers have always been there for you and they love you. Don't count on them to always love you, because the environment's changing. And the same goes true, though, for procurement people, and your supply chain managers, and your sourcing people. Don't assume that the vendor is going to keep things at status quo. Things are changing, so don't rest on your laurels.
For salespeople, it's about learning to be more efficient, and effective, and doing more with less, because there's fewer people out there doing it. And so making sure that you're finding ways to increase your margins and your capacity smartly so that it doesn't take as much time, so you can do more with less. And on the procurement and sourcing side, it's probably finding ways to negotiate so that you can fight those increasing costs of labor and raw materials. How can you work it so that you get better deals from your vendors? How can you build that resilience that you need from your vendors?
Rob Cox: Excellent. You covered a lot there, Deborah. Again, I know that you work extensively with sales and procurement teams. Doing more with less, building out that resiliency, getting a bigger piece of the pie for sales, I know that those are all great trends heading into 2025, and obviously, through the rest of the year, as well. You've been very generous with your time, Deborah. Thank you very much. Is there anything else that you'd like to say before we wrap up?
Deborah Reynolds: Probably keep in mind that 85-to-90% of the time you are at work, you are, in fact, negotiating. So start thinking about how you can utilize skills and concepts around better negotiation and have those better relationships. In fact, find ways so that both parties get more of what they want.
Rob Cox: Excellent.
Deborah Reynolds: And, of course, sign up for a RED BEAR course.
Rob Cox: That's right. Excellent. I love it. Deborah, you covered so many topics today. Thank you. I love not resting on your laurels, making sure that you're continuously improving, investing in your people, investing in negotiation training. All fantastic. Thank you very much for being on today. This has been The Confident Negotiator Podcast. Thank you for listening. We'll see you next time.
